Tag Archives: anniversary

Two Years in LA

As of today it’s been two years since I moved out to LA.

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Two rad years.

A lot has changed for me – personally, professionally, emotionally. Here’s a raw and honest update:

Personally, I’m on my own now. I’ve got a cute little studio in Encino (see map) that I share with Brody. It’s not much, but it’s my 425 sq. ft. palace. It has a fireplace for all these cold Californian nights, plenty of kitchen counter space for the cooking I fail at, and a strange outdoor closet on the balcony for all the things I keep hauling around. (It’s never below 40° here, so I guess that’s a great storage option for anything but candles.) Sometimes the place is a mess, but it’s all mine.

Having my own space means I’m answering to no one (except Brody, of course, who gets irritated when I come home late), so I find myself super busy. I’ve taken on extra freelance work, some tutoring, and I’ve made a ton of beautiful, amazing friends that I’m out adventuring with all the time. I hike, visit museums, explore beaches, go to art events and space lectures, watch heartbreakingly beautiful sunsets, and eat a lot of tacos in between hard workouts. I haven’t had time to play video games in months. Mostly this is pleasant, but I occasionally overbook myself to exhaustion. It’s a learning curve, and I’m working on finding a balance between go, go, go and taking care of myself. There ain’t no rest for the wicked, but I’ve never wanted to be villainous.

Professionally, I’m leaving Instantly/SSI at the end of March to start a new design job just a few miles from home. After the acquisition of Instantly by SSI – a much bigger and more traditional company – I’ve found that the culture change isn’t what I’m after and the workload isn’t heavy enough to keep me on my feet. And as we all know, Makers Gonna Make.

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Note: Not an actual tattoo, mom.

My time with Instantly allowed me to grow a great deal, and expand my skill set in a wonderful, supportive and collaborative environment. However, I’m really excited for the opportunity to join a new, larger in-house creative team with hopes of expanded collaboration and even more growth. I hit the ground running on April 4.

Emotionally, this has all been a roller-coaster. 2015 was a difficult year. My father suffered a massive brain injury last February, and we almost lost him. He is still in recovery. I started a new job in March. I had a bad cancer scare in September, complete with surgery. I moved out on my own in October. Through it all my husband moved across the country and my marriage fell apart. I stopped drinking for 6 months. I hit the gym. I neglected the blog.

To say I’m seeing a therapist seems like an understatement. I mean, come on, everyone in LA is seeing a therapist. But really, guys – I’m seeing a therapist and doing my best to work through it all. Those close to me know what a struggle it’s been, and how hard I’ve been working to make sure I come out of it all as the best version of myself.

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I’m a strong, independent woman. Check out those guns.

It’s hard to find and admit fault in yourself, and even harder to act on that discovery. But that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Nobody’s perfect, but striving to be a person you love is the great life goal. That, and having super rad adventures with excellent people that lead to lasting memories. Because in the end, we’re nothing but sacks of experiences and I want mine to be beautiful.

The big question I get is, “Are you coming home?” After a year like that, packing it in and heading back to the warm arms of my Wisconsinite family and friends looks really comforting, I can’t lie. I spent the midnight hours of Christmas eve this year curled up in front of the tree at my parents’ house in an oversized sweater, drowning in mascara on my brother’s shoulder, despairing about how alone I was going to be out here. (We’re all allowed one complete cave-in, right?) I pulled myself together and realized I’m definitely not alone – I have an incredible support system of friends out here, and the people I love in WI are just a phone call, hangout or plane ride away. Despite having a rough go of it, I feel more loved and supported than I have in my entire life. Loneliness is perspective, and I’m anything but.

So to answer that burning question: No. Not now. There’s too much to see and do out here. Too much I haven’t explored with these amazing people in this strange place I’ve grown to love. Will I stay forever, or will the colorful siren song of the Wisconsin autumn call out to me? Could I make California a home, so far away from the family that buoys me? Only time will tell. It will be really tough to leave if I ever do.

Until then, I’ll keep hanging on, because life is crazy and hard, but oh so beautiful.

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A Year in LA

Skyline

This past Tuesday marked a year that Darin and I have been in California. I wanted to write about it, but I’ve been too busy. That’s been the theme of the past few months. Go, go, go.

Los Angeles keeps us moving forward. Back in Wisconsin there was sort of culture of contentment – many people were happy to work stable, stagnant jobs, unaware or uncaring that there’s something bigger and better out there. They’re just not hungry for more, for adventure. I was becoming one of those people, unmotivated to change and discover. Why run fast when you can make a living walking? Then we took the plunge and moved across the miles to a place where complacency isn’t viable.

This is a city of immigrants. Hungry people come from distances great and small to be a part of it’s pulse. Like most immigrants, the people are full of ambition, and they’re prepared to go hard, not go home. People out here are chasing and making and doing and they’re definitely not walking. Being a part of the rush is invigorating and exhausting all at the same time. We work hard (9 to 5 is a dream fast-fading) and we play hard (exploring this city is a dream half-realized). I feel it’s all worth it, though.

Darin asked me one rainy night on the balcony what I want out of life. The SparkNotes version is that I want a beautiful life bursting with adventure and exploration. I want the kind of life someone could write a book about. I want to look back in my sunset years and have a library of stories to tell of past days and doings to keep my fire ignited.

That colorful life is what I’m beginning to invent out here.  I’ve met people from across the globe, and work within a company that pushes me to constantly expand myself. I’ve watched the night city from above lit up like a bustling galaxy. I’ve breathed in the vast ocean air from the top of a mountain. And I haven’t even scratched the surface.

How do you conveniently pare all that down into an answer to “So how’s LA?”? I guess the short answer is “It ignites me.”.

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Jack’s 6 Month Check-In

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Last night marks 6 months since our arrival in California on St. Patrick’s Day. So far we’ve kept our heads above water and we’re adjusting to Los Angeles life pretty well.

For instance, on our visit back to Green Bay I thought anything below 75 degrees was frigid, and I wore a sweatshirt around inside my parents’ house. It steadily rained overnight while we were there – something we experienced only once so far in California.  I left the window open just so I could listen to the rain while I slept. While I don’t miss the rain, I did find myself missing petrichor. I also missed empty streets.

WORK

I’m still working from home as a graphic designer for the job I held in Wisconsin. I’ve applied to a few jobs out here, and had a few interviews. I’ve been rejected, and even rejected an offer myself. So far nothing has been the right fit. While it’s a little disheartening not to find what I’m looking for amidst a sea of available jobs, at least I’m (for the moment) still gainfully employed, doing what I love. Working from home has it’s perks (dressing comfortably, not having to style my outrageous mane, short commute), but it also has some disadvantages that are especially obvious in a new city.

I’m not meeting new people through work, or socializing/leaving the house at all most days. Making friends has been tough – though not impossible, even for me! The lack of social contact means my Skype/Google Hangout/[Insert Chat Service Here] dates with the people back home are all the more valuable. I’ve considered joining some kind of group or club, but I’m too chicken to actually do it. *Queue panic attack.*

HOME

Our place itself has grown on me, despite it’s tiny size. It turns out we didn’t need a lot of the space in our last place, and in a city with places crammed in everywhere our condo seems pretty par for the course. We toured a 2-bed, 2-bath condo recently and I was blown away by how huge it seemed. Then we saw the listing – it was the same size as our place in Green Bay was. Man, how perspectives can change.

People often ask how our cats are adjusting. I’m happy to say they’re doing quite well, and seem to have no opinion at all. I will mention that due to the hardwood floors (we had carpet before) they seem fairly reluctant to run/skid around. I worry they aren’t getting enough exercise, but they seem to be maintaining their weight. They’re so adaptable it boggles my mind.

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GOING OUT

The city itself is a strange mix of wonderful and crazy. There’s a ton of stuff to do at any given time – a lot of it free/inexpensive (beaches, museums, markets, etc). The trouble is getting there. Traffic is a hindrance if we want to leave the valley,  so we’ve spent more than one weekend using it as an excuse to Netflix binge. Honestly, sometimes we feel like parodies out here.

The struggle is real.

The struggle is real.

We have gotten to see some really amazing things, though. So far I’m pretty partial to the beaches up in Malibu that are less populated and more geologically interesting. In the valley, I’m really a fan of the Arclight cinema near us. It has assigned seating, and offers 21+ shows where you can drink and watch movies without children screaming and moving about. (Instead, adults are drunkenly cheering and laughing appropriately.) The tickets are pricey ($15.50/each) compared to any cinema in Green Bay, but then again – so is everything else. I’m also a huge fan of the Goodwill that’s a few blocks away. Such good deals.

Ventura boulevard, the main drag where we are, has a ton of great restaurants on it. We’re only a block off of Ventura, so sometimes it’s hard to make the better choice of staying in and eating healthy when you’ve got so many great places in walking distance. Most weeks we hit Chipotle at least once (it’s about two blocks away and totally a “healthy” choice), and then go out a few times on the weekends. It’s great to sample all the places – we haven’t even made a dent 6 months in.

WEATHER

One time it rained. Another time it was hot. The rest of the time has been incomparably beautiful. It’s making us soft, but making my natural hair fabulous.

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Naturally fab

LOOKING FORWARD

I think we’re pretty optimistic about our future out here. Everyone asks if we’re ever going to move back to Wisconsin, or if we’re Californians for life. Honestly? I don’t know. It’d be hard to beat the opportunities and weather out here, but it’s also hard being away from family and friends. Our trip back to Green Bay made us realize how quiet it is there (freakishly quiet), and it was both comforting and tedious. Maybe as we age (oh my god 30 is coming in just over a year, where is my eye cream?) we’ll find some need to settle down. But we’ve only been out here six months, and we’re not old fogies yet, so we’ll be out here carpe-ing the crap out of these California diems.

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