We’ve lived in Los Angeles for almost six months. In that time, I’ve been working from home and have had very few (if any) reasons to get fancy. So leave it to me to come up with a raging eye infection right before an interview for a job out here. I mean, seriously? I’ve been sitting at home with no makeup or contacts for months, and then when I finally have to look presentable my eye looks like I got in a fight with Drax the Destroyer. It was painful just looking at it. You can’t walk into an interview and immediately gross out everyone, but what’s the alternative?
Behold, my ultra-stylish solution:
A freaking eye patch. Totally not conspicuous at all. They’ll never notice.
I have to be honest: I had to summon up an unholy amount of confidence to leave the house for an interview with an eye patch on. I felt like Daryl Hannah in Kill Bill.
But you know what? It wasn’t even a big deal. (Well, driving was super strange and anxiety-inducing with limited depth perception and peripheral vision, but let’s focus on the interview.) I mentioned my funky eye when we sat down and explained that it was a temporary thing. The interviewers gave their well-wishes for recovery and we moved on. As far as I could tell, it didn’t effect their opinion at all during the discussion. Things went super smoothly until I went to shake one of my interviewer’s hands at the end…and overshot and shook her wrist. Awkward! Thank my lucky stars – she laughed heartily and told me they wanted a second interview.
For all I know, the eye patch helped. Perhaps it made me memorable. Perhaps they were impressed at how ballsy I was for wearing it. Maybe they were just glad I didn’t cancel over something so trivial. Maybe they didn’t think a single thing about it and I’m making a huge deal out of a really small thing. (Likely that.)
I learned a valuable lesson in getting over myself yesterday. I feel liberated. Millions of people live in this city. My hang-ups are so insignificant. No one cares about a dumb eye patch.
Time to reevaluate my life and learn to care less.